Consensual Extra-Dyadic Relationship (5) Jealousy

Jealousy is presented by many people as the main reason why extra dyadic relations (edr) by consent is not realistic. Jealousy is considered to be an essential part of loving. Jealousy is a natural and common emotion but a negative one such as anger, desire for violence, feelings of guilt, unreasonable fear, etc. Those that recognize this are less likely to reject the idea of consensual edr. Schwartz said that "by allowing sexual variety, possessiveness and jealousy would have to be renegotiated.

Coyner states even more strongly "Whether reasonable permanent heterosexual relationships can endure may depend on whether men can relinquish their possessiveness and jealousy." Smith and Smith say no less than, "The conquest of sexual jealousy, if achieved, could be the greatest advance in human relations since the advent of common law or the initiation of the democratic processes."

We need to learn from the experiences of the world polyamory

community where some of the participants have overcome the feelings of jealousy. There is a new term that presents the solution - "compersion". This is the feeling of HAPPINESS when the loved ones are enjoying themselves. This is, of course, when secure that this enjoyment will not cause the loved ones to leave.

Even so, I think that I included in this page my definition of love. That it exists when the happiness of your loved ones is more important to you than your own happiness.

I will finish the subject of consensual edr with this blog. Of course, in the 82 pages of the report on the literature there is much more (see the blog on the contents of the report). I remind you that I will send the full report to those who are interested.

Here is an article on how to deal with jealousy. https://www.morethantwo.com/practicaljealousy.pdf

Here is another guide on how to manage jealousy.

https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy