Scientific American

Polyamory

At the age of 16 (65 years ago) a friend of mine approached me and asked if he could hit on my girl friend.
I was happy that he asked and I agreed.
I felt that this would be for her and for me.
I also wanted to know if she would want to continue with me even when she had someone else as well.

On the boat when I came to live in Israel (1960) I read 2 books that were very important to me.
Robert Heinlein wrote "Stranger in a Strange Land" and Robert Rimmer wrote "The Harrad Experiment". These two authors influenced many people to take an interest in non-monogamy.
I have a copy of "Stranger...) on my hard disk and I will gladly give this copy to anyone that asks.

I found a group in Hawaii that put out a newsletter about non-monogamy. I was excited when I learned that they formed an organization in the U.S. called "Loving More", and had a site on the internet. I used a connection from the phone company that was very expensive in order to contact them. In their forum I met a former Israeli who proposed starting a Church of Love. Toether we created the "Temple of Love"

I found someone to create and to maintain a site. As time went on the site moved to other frameworks with different editors. At present it is mainly a facebook group. 
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Intropoly/

We also found a good list of frequently asked questions about polyamory. We added them (with permission) to our site. These are the general faq's
I added a number of additional faq's about our specific ideas.

The first 2 faq's are:

GEN1. What is polyamory?

Glad you asked that. ;-) Polyamory means "loving more than one". This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or any combination thereof, according to the desires and agreements of the individuals involved, but you needn't wear yourself out trying to figure out ways to fit fondness for apple pie, or filial piety, or a passion for the St. Paul Saints baseball club into it. "Polyamorous" is also used as a descriptive term by people who are open to more than one relationship even if they are not currently involved in more than one. (Heck, some are involved in less than one.)
Some people think the definition is a bit loose, but it's got to be fairly roomy to fit the wide range of poly arrangements out there.

GEN2. But isn't that "cheating"?

Nope.

Oh, you wanted a longer answer. Okay. According to the OED, cheating means "fraud, deceit, swindling." There's a nice quote from 1532: "The first...ground of Cheating is...a study to seem to be, and not to be in deed." In other words, cheating is to convey through deliberate action the impression that one is of a particular nature while one is, in fact, something quite different.
What this boils down to with polyamory is that polyamorous people do not tell partners, lovers, or prospective members of those groups that they are monogamous when in fact they are not -- nor do they allow these people to assume they are monogamous, regardless of how convenient or personally advantageous such assumptions might be.
The words "honest", "negotiate", "communication" and "being out" occur frequently in discussions of how polyamory usually works.

As Stef puts it:
"I think the key in defining polyamory is *openness*, that is, having multiple relationships with the knowledge and consent of your partner(s) rather than by deceit. (How much openness, how many details are shared, of course varies widely.) A great many people have secret affairs while they're in a supposedly monogamous relationship. I think those people might have the potential to be polyamorous, but I do not think they are practicing polyamory. Another key in defining polyamory, IMO, is that it need not involve sex (although it often does)."

Generally speaking, if someone openly practices "more than one love" and calls themselves polyamorous, they probably are; if they practices "more than one love" and call themselves monogamous, do not adjust your television: the problem is *not* in your receiver.

Whoever wants just ask and I'll send you the whole list.